


Truth

by paxnirvana



Category: Sentou Yousei Yukikaze (Battle Fairy Yukikaze)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-14
Updated: 2010-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 19:45:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paxnirvana/pseuds/paxnirvana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS For Operation 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

Somehow, he managed to avoid looking into Jack's eyes. Instead, in that one, brief look beyond the cockpit after Yukikaze rolled to a stopon the rain-drenched runway and all the vehicles with flashing lights had converged on it, he had focused on Captain Foss standing out there behind Jack on the tarmac, her face so pale and frightened. She knew. She understood. He had caught the tension, the concern radiating from the familiar form just in front of her, but he had not dared look at Jack directly.

 

The thought – driven there by those last words heard in a broken voice whispering over the radio, so plaintive – wouldn't leave his mind. Whirling, tearing at him. Eating away at him… From the corner of his eye he could see the slow pulse of the cursor on the screen at the end of a short line of text. He did not raise his head to look at it. Did not want to see the truth there.

 _I'm still… human… aren't I?_

Yukikaze had not shifted the cockpit back into access mode. It was holding him here… protecting him… or perhaps it was just… waiting. Either way, he could not open the canopy without using the emergency escape system. Conversely, no one could reach him in here. In the silence that yawned accusingly from the empty seat behind him.

Tomahawk John…

 _I'm…_

 _…aren't I?_

The tug had come long ago and hooked to the nose gear. Drawn Yukikaze into the safety and protection of the hanger. Away from that rigid form standing so still and silent in the rain-washed night, hair darkened by rain.

The ground crew had put Yukikaze into its station. Rolled the access platform into place over the wing beside it. Began the post-flight checks and cycling of fuel. But still Rei sat in the cockpit, arms wrapped around himself, head bent.

 _…still human…_

No one even tapped on the glass. Shapes and shadows moved beyond but he ignored them. He could feel the vibrations through the plane as access panels were opened, engine cowlings removed. Maintenance work. He became lost in the sensations, the shudders and taps and pulls. Felt the care being taken to tend the plane around him almost like a reassuring caress. Soothing him. And his mind went blessedly blank at last, the desperate voice inside him falling into silence.

Then another remembered voice echoed in his mind. Filled with panic. Desperation.

 _"Rei! Get out of there… REI!"_

Jack had not come.

Slowly, he raised his head. Looked at the screen.

– Mission Cmpl –  
– Lt. Fukai_ –

It wasn't relief that filled him, but almost a kind of pain as he heard the alarm sound to warn the men working outside, and then, after a pause of a few seconds, felt the cockpit begin to roll back into access mode. He heard shouts of surprise and shock from outside as ground crew moved out of the way. The canopy began to rise as soon as the crew pod locked into place.

"Domo arigato," he whispered below the sound of the hydraulics, brushing his fingertips over the throttle control.

The cursor on the screen just continued to blink at him, unchanging and steady.

He unhooked his flight suit from the straps. Drew himself carefully up, holding on to the side walls of the cockpit. Raised his head all the way, lifting his chin, and looked around at the open floor beyond Yukikaze.

Ground crew. Snaking hoses and power feeds. Equipment. A small fuel-drainage tanker.

No Jack.

Shaken to the core, but with his face feeling as brittle and cold as ice, he looked around the cockpit for his helmet. Found it on the floor, wedged under the front of his seat. Picked it up and climbed slowly out of Yukikaze.

Ground crew spoke to him, but their words barely registered, even though he answered them as necessary. Fuel. Tethers. Weapons. Finally they nodded, saluted, and went about their duties. Leaving him to walk slowly away across the full length of the underground hanger complex to the pilot's locker room, head bowed.

He walked inside, ignoring the low greetings from two pilots who passed him on the way out, suited up and ready for their own recon mission.

The locker room beyond was empty. The showers silent. No clatter of feet, or rustle of clothing.

He found his own locker. Entered the combination on the touch pad and opened the door. No vaguely threatening notes tumbled out, this time. Or pornographic pictures. Instead, he stared at the glittering gold thread of the dragon stitched onto the back of his warm up jacket and felt a thickness start in his throat.

He backed away until his legs struck the bench in front of the lockers. Sat down heavily, his flight helmet falling out of his grasp with a clatter, and buried his face in his hands. He sat there for an unknown length of time until he heard the sounds of someone entering the locker room from the headquarters side. There was the quiet shuffle of shoes on concrete. A single person. Most likely someone he could just ignore.

The thickness in his throat became an ache. His breath caught. He shuddered.

"Was it that bad?" The rich voice came from the end of the row of lockers. He froze. Lifted his face slowly out of his hands and looked around.

The thickness in his throat intensified almost to the point of pain before easing again. Jack. Leaning against the locker on the end, his golden hair still faintly damp on the ends. Blue eyes watched him closely from beneath lowered brows. He was not wearing his coat, only a plain white tee shirt, the fabric stretched taut over his body by folded arms.

"Yes."

"What happened to John?"

"He… wouldn't leave." That last message had been private. On the circuit just between pilot and copilot. He would have to talk about it with Jack eventually. But not yet.

"We guessed… about him."

Pain shot through his chest, unexpected and sharp. "Did you? "

Jack shifted, his stance tensing subtly, the worried frown deepening. "Captain Foss found his records – he was lost for nearly a day. Alone."

He held that so familiar blue gaze steadily. The words eating at him again.

"He raised the Banshee's elevator for us. Yukikaze wouldn't have been able to blow free in time."

He wasn't imagining it. Gratitude and relief filled those blue eyes as he spoke and eased the taut line of those broad shoulders.

"He did, did he?," Jack said after a moment of thoughtful silence. "He was an honorable man."

"…yes."

Jack shifted, unfolding his arms. He saw the heavy bandages then, wound around the other man's left hand. His gaze locked on them, his mouth falling open slightly in surprise. They had not been there when he left.

Jack spoke before he could get his mind around the right words, his expression softening, his voice going low and caressing.

"Took eleven stitches… Captain Foss dragged me off to the infirmary after you landed," Jack said, stepping away from the locker. "I… punched the window out in the command center. I thought you… wouldn't make it out in time." Jack was moving toward him, slow and steady, as if he thought he might bolt. He rose to his feet, ignoring the clatter of his helmet as he kicked it out of the way, taking one long step toward Jack before coming to an uncertain halt, watching. The ache was back in his throat.

"Aren't you… going to ask?" he said,quietly, desperately, as Jack neared him.

"No."

Then Jack's hands were closing around his face, the bandages rough against one cheek. Reminding him of Jack's pain. The raw anguish he'd heard over the speakers. And then Jack was tilting his head back, leaning in and sealing his mouth over his. He made a low noise in his throat. A sob for the feel of Jack against him again, solid, warm, trusting. He opened his mouth wide to Jack's, and tongue moved against tongue, eager and sure.

His mind began to spin again, but differently. His last doubts fell away as certainty filled him. Yukikaze had said, but without Jack - without his acceptance - life would become… unthinkable. He shuddered, pressing closer to Jack's body, arms creeping around his waist. Holding on tight.

Jack broke the kiss after an endless while. Rested his forehead against his, his blue eyes heavy-lidded and brilliant.

"I don't need to ask... Rei."

\- - fin - -


End file.
